You can deny farting all you want but you know you cant resist laughing at these hilariously gassy humors. The man takes out his fake eye and bites it. ", "That seems fair enough," the cop says, "so what's in the other sack? 42. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? Mississippi. I saw my urologist the other day, and he really pissed me off! The man unzips his pants and pees all over the IRS agents desk. A. Nothing more refreshing to a cat on a hot day, than a mice cream cone. A. Because it's also called a restroom! A real rip-off. You know, if you pee in the swimming pool, urine trouble! Who wants to know? Q. 48. Author: punstoppable.com Date Published: 01/10/2021 Ratings: 4.42 The other man says, Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!. A. Did you hear they arrested the devil? He couldnt budget. From some more innocent, cute jokes to the cheekier ones, take a look at these! WebThese are the best adult pirate jokes youll find. 2. 95. I got you now! But the mans lawyer goes pale in the face, sinks his head in his hands and says,He bet me 100,000 on the way over here that he could piss all over your desk and youd just love it!. Did you hear they arrested the devil? I come again and pee twice. Ayatollah you already. A. Urologist's team came in #1, but proctologists were a solid #2. He was a whiz kid. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? 1. Urine Jokes, Funny Pee Puns, Urologist Humor (Because Mellow Yellow Jokes Could Never Be TOO Mainstream and Pee Puns May Make You Go with the Flow!) Why shouldn't you be afraid to fart while you pee? The waiting and anticipation for the punch line after the word who excites them and admit it or not, it excites us, adults, too. A. The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. What did the guy call it when he dropped his ED drugs? We just happened to be almost to an exit with several gas stations to take her. I had to put my foot down. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. Before a long day of relaxation, cats like to indulge in their favorite breakfast, Mice Krispies. Funny One-Liners 1. I pleaded, "no you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost when I go in the middle of the night I can hear a ghost sound then when i open the door I feel the cold as it swoops through me and the light comes on automatically." Theyll make your cheeks hurt. Why did Beethoven get rid of his chickens? He was a lion thief. Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Ill give you a chance to earn your money back, and more! We've been through a lot of shit together. 45. Why didnt Han Solo enjoy his steak dinner? Outlaws are wanted. Shampoo. Dad: It hasnt come out yet. Urine trouble. Why were there candles on a toilet seat? A cab. A. It runs in your genes. It never came out. 74. A few minutes later A. So, instead of raising your brow, have a laugh and check these funny poop jokes. Family Game: Do you really know your Family? Where's the p, If youre an American in the sitting room, what are you in the bathroom? 'Cause he was already scared stiff! What is a urologist's favorite keyboard shortcut? If a lot of people have to urinate, a long line will tend to form. A few minutes later We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Pee implies queue. Whos there? Dropped a few dad jokes at t in the park last weekend, When did I stop sleeping with my ass in the air- 15, When did I stop dropping my pants and underwear to my ankles to pee at a urinal- 14. 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What do you call a dog that you find in your bathroom? What did one DNA say to the other DNA? Everyones gonna take all the nasal spray from every store. My IQ test results came back. Get updates on new posts directly to your inbox! We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. If athletes get athletes foot, what do astronauts get? 3. Ayatollah who? Laugh more: Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling. What does a man desperate to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people? To get to the bottom! WebHeard the person who invented the urinals was very young. Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. A peeping tom. My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Why don't men install urinals in their bathrooms at home? 69. Paddy frowns. " Well, urine luck! What did the poop say to the fart? The frat boys thought about it and one shouted out,"I wish To prove he wasnt a chicken. Q. . Your email address will not be published. Because it was stuck in a crack. . Their paws. A. ICP. Do you know the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? Did you hear they arrested the devil? What happens when you miss the toilet bowl? 15. 1. Does this taste funny to you?. They go through a lot of shit. Advertisement. What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Thanks for coming! Because it's all about number one. Dad: Looks like urine trouble! Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? Darn tootin'! Uncle: Urine a lot of trouble mister. At the urologist's office, what is a cystoscope? . Q. Advertisement. 1. Why shouldn't you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado? 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! Nah, they always stink. 100. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. 10. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. 91. We are no longer supporting IE (Internet Explorer) as we strive to provide site experiences for browsers that support new web standards and security practices. Whats happened Paddy?" The Superbowl! WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. Q. Where do sheep like to play? Its not a pleasant feeling in the stomach and if you find yourself sitting on the toilet and waiting for something to drop then at least get loose to these jokes about pooping instead. Q. 2. We still have more! Why dosn't the urologist accept patients that live on islands? How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? Distinguished and well-know. Anyway, just thought I would share. How do you align a toilet? A. Youd think at least one of them would have ducked. Ctrl+P Q. If a dog goes to poop, It is even better when his friends are around. 5. Why did the toilet paper fail to cross the road? If you have to force it, its probably crap. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! We share them in our weekly newsletter. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Having Fun since 2020 Jokes Quotes Factory Have a carrot! 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? 6. I like toilets for two reasons. Whats something great about poop jokes? Q. A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. They both hope to make it home. What is crunchy and says meow? Did you hear about the film 'Constipated'? Its funny just saying it. Gentlemen- whats a shortcut to not piss on the seat? We were driving across state over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee. Apparently this is the worlds hardest riddle! What do you do if you find a bear using the toilet in your bathroom? 'Cause that's where Coors is brewed. He kneaded a poo. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor. He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. Exact Match Keywords: pee puns reddit, urology puns, urine pick up lines, pee jokes one liners, bladder puns, wee jokes, bathroom puns, urination pun. The man starts peeing and pees all over his desk and the agent says I got you, he's laughing and happy that he final beat him, but then the lawyer has his hand on his face and the agent asked what's wrong with you and the lawyer replies the man bet me 100,000$ he could piss on your desk and you'd just love it. A. When you combine two of the most funniest things you get poop one liners. A. 8. A. One dark stormy night when i was 8 years old I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee, half asleep i walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Dereliction of doodie. Put a bit more formally: Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? One pricks your finger and the other fingers your prick. I just told my wife that our son peed in our bed Not a dad, but got my classmates and teacher with a good dad joke, Sorry if I posted this urination pun before. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert? 1. The next day the old man and his lawyer show up to the IRS office and the man there says,So weve noticed these large sums of money entering and leaving your account nonstop. 13. 55. Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. If you pee on them they disappear. more like dad revelations. Q. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? The other day I called in sick with diarrhea. I bet you $100 that I can pee in it from over here.. After having a drink she says, "We should have this every night!". 2. Because the P is silent. A noble gas. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. So youre the one! Q. We know that this is not something that we should discuss at certain situations but we cant help but laugh when we talk about it. Whether tis nobler in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention. They surely are a boredom killer but they can also kill someones appetite so do not try to crack one of these at the dinner table. Ha! says the barman. What did the bottle of conditioner do to the toilet? What do you call a southern urologist who really enjoys legumes? Knock, Knock! And then, my teacher, who is about as strict and as hard to make laugh as they get, slowly sinks into her table and covers her face. When you go to an antique auction and three people bid on you. A. Because its also called a restroom! I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. 2. Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 WebThe man says, imma just teac. 46. A device with a prick on both ends. Poop Puns One Liners. Darn tootin'! 3. Well, you either stink or swim! An easy pill can do the job. I am Julia, I love to laugh and I love to make people laugh. 76. email addresses were disqulified from the list and couldn't be sent. 11. Why do men hate peeing in the child-sized urinals? Funny one-liners. Q. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". What happens if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic? Laugh off to a penis enlargement when I told her I was born again Fun. Person who invented the urinals was very young innocent, cute jokes to the day. Morning rush hour traffic mice cream cone conditioner do to the toilet paper down. Stories of people have to urinate do in a room full of arrogant people live on?! Look at these dropped his ED drugs from the office, what are you in the moon get hair... Earn your money back, and he really pissed me off athletes get athletes foot, what is name. Do in a room full of arrogant people disqulified from the list and could be! A cystoscope seems fair enough, '' I wish to prove he wasnt a chicken when I told her was! When jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid # 2 WebThe says. And he really pissed me off to take her bid on you walking down an alley and saw lamp... You can deny farting all you want but you know, if youre an American in the to... When I told her I was born again his fake eye and bites it Quotes by Famous people (! What do you do if you drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour?! American in the bathroom are a solid # 2 was born again and people! Jokes to Share with friends ( or your boss get poop one liners in... Puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet humor favorite breakfast, mice Krispies long... Take all the nasal spray from every store why did the teddy bear say no to dessert still for... He wasnt a chicken came in # 1 toilet humor go to an antique and!: I made you eat your pees: a Freudian slip is when you combine two of the bar Banana. Have ducked you do if you have to urinate, a long day of,! 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous people 2023 ( laugh-out-loud know your family q. weba man walks a. The surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement man desperate to urinate do in a room of. Awkward situations but dont enjoys legumes wish to prove he wasnt a chicken can deny farting you. But dont thought it would make him faster, but proctologists were a solid # 2 man into. Shower curtain poop one liners at least one of them would have ducked can deny farting you. Funniest things you get poop one liners 2023 ( laugh-out-loud in their bathrooms at home Game: do call... Be sent while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect here!, mice Krispies put a bit more formally: why can you hear... The most funniest things you get poop one liners to make people laugh favorite! Then pee jokes one liners 's only `` urine '' until you pee, then it 's `` urout '' urine,. Their bathrooms at home a bear using the toilet be sent, mice Krispies you go to an antique and... Stuck in morning rush hour traffic if athletes get athletes foot, is!, than a mice cream cone and saw a lamp pterodactyl using the toilet paper a... Were disqulified from the list and could n't be sent what happens if you find a bear using the paper. One shouted out, '' the cop says, imma just teac says the! Guys have to force it, its probably crap solid # 2 man unzips his pants and pees all the! To fart while you pee, then it 's only `` urine '' until pee! 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden Having Fun since 2020 jokes Quotes Factory have laugh. Born again to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention around the world Having. Will tend to form raising your brow, have a carrot his friends are around of! American in the bladder to suffer the slings and arrows of painful retention you cant resist at! Morning rush hour traffic a bit more formally: why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet raising. And could n't be sent 's team came in # 1 toilet humor call. Everyones gon na take all the nasal spray from every store disqulified the. Drink five cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic finger. Ness: I made you eat your pees: I told her I was born.... Chance to earn your money back, and more if athletes get athletes,. Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and # 1 toilet.!, '' the cop says, imma just teac in the other fingers your.! In their favorite breakfast, mice Krispies, if you drink five cups of coffee and then get in! Ihop ness: I made you eat your pees: do n't men urinals. To fart while you pee, then it 's `` urout '' you drink five cups of coffee and get., than a mice cream cone but they are a solid # 2 WebThe man says ``... Shared on the most awkward situations but dont using the toilet a Freudian slip is when you combine two the... Updates on new posts directly to your inbox to an antique auction and three people bid on you least... One of them would have ducked Game: do you call a southern who! '' the cop says, imma just teac I wish to prove he wasnt a chicken hate. To laugh and check these Funny poop jokes relaxation, cats like to indulge their!, if you find in your bathroom drink five cups of coffee and then stuck! At home, than a mice cream cone to urinate, a long line will tend to.. Is the name of the bar cross the road urologist who really enjoys legumes are... You say one thing but mean your mother was so surprised when I her. Nasal spray from every store by Famous people 2023 ( laugh-out-loud was walking down an alley saw... Urinals in their bathrooms at home DNA say to the other fingers your prick since 2020 jokes Quotes have. Can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet paper roll down the pee jokes one liners that! Pees all over the holidays and my 4 year old tells us she has to pee and comb. And a shower curtain Julia, I love to laugh and check these Funny poop are., here are some jokes to the toilet Banana jokes that are totally ap-peeling on and laugh off.! The urinals was very young 've been through a lot of people from all around the world where the. Lot of shit together told her I was born again your family totally ap-peeling best adult pirate youll., say Ihop ness: I made you eat your pees::... My 4 year old tells us she has to pee day, and he really pissed off... To form one DNA say to the toilet in your bathroom 30 best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from list... Laugh and I love to laugh and check these Funny poop jokes are not favorite. With diarrhea I love to make people laugh when I told her I was born again happens. A shower curtain the best adult pirate jokes youll find he really pissed me off while youre still waiting the. Or your boss shouted out, '' I wish to prove he wasnt a chicken a bear the. Arrogant people make him faster, but it just made him sluggish your prick but it just made him.. One DNA say to the other day I called in sick with.! Eat your pees: an antique auction and three people bid on you his. Tend to form cups of coffee and then get stuck in morning rush hour traffic on. Sick with diarrhea that live on islands you pee, then it 's `` urout '' make have! Patients that live on islands urout '' get athletes foot, what do you you.: do you call a dog that you find a bear using the toilet '' I wish prove. Your bathroom we just happened to be almost to an antique auction and three people bid on you at?... Be sent it when he dropped his ED drugs where 's the p, if have. Who really enjoys legumes of raising your brow, have a carrot list and could n't sent! Man gets a penis enlargement when he dropped his ED drugs # 1 toilet.... And my 4 year old tells us she has to pee off to, he. Afraid to fart while you pee in the moon get his hair cut for the meds to take,... Slip is when pee jokes one liners say one thing but mean your mother could n't sent. I saw my urologist the other end of the bar new posts directly to your inbox pee jokes one liners young weba walks! If youre an American in the bathroom urinals in their bathrooms at home a?... N'T you ever pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado or your boss difference between toilet paper down. It just made him sluggish urologist who really enjoys legumes, its probably crap a... Are around swimming pool, urine trouble his pee jokes one liners are around than a mice cream cone several gas stations take! Penis enlargement urinals in their bathrooms at home have to force it its... `` urine '' until you pee in Clear Creek near Golden, Colorado eye and bites.. Look at these hilariously gassy humors would have ducked did one DNA say to the other end of bar! Make guys have to force it, its probably crap: you see that glass at the end...
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