When he comes back and the dream is still ist completly dead.. Went no contact 4 months ago after almost 11 years with my Narc. Trust me. Everyday its a struggle to get back to myself and he has caused so much emotional damage. Whats the attraction? I read your story. The only reason I have any kind of contact with him is enough time has passed, I know he tried, he still makes me laugh, he admits he fits the Narcissist label, he is respectful to me and he treated me very well in between his Narc episodes. Want to know more? But just when i get myself out of bed after two weaks of perralised in bed.. just when i started to take care of myself, looked good and accept it.. I am now working my way up from a breakup. I bet lots of other women on this site would say the same thing to you. I guess Im just struggling with all the emotions related to the situation more than anything. That person may reach out to the narcissist, puzzled, to find out what happened. Its hard to resist, I know, when they start acting the romantic, but its important to remember its just an act. My oldest being 9 at the time would hug him and say she loved him and would get a quick pat of disgust with no love returned. Having had many relationships this lady stole my heart. Dont beat yourself up too badly about having to start over. Advice please, and why now feel the need to tell me or try warn me off?? We both need to move on. Last year, an ex-colleague started to woo me. we first met in 2008 and our last communication was in April 2014). For the next 6 weekends she disappeared, and each time id believe her story on where shed been. I would like to share my story in details but Im at work now and just wanted to say that myself too been in a relationship with a Narc for almost 2 years but recently discovered what exactly is wrong with her No contact now for 2 months and started to learn about narcissism and NPD in the past month. Other then that we were alright. As I said the last time we spoke, I am here for you if you want to talk to me and have some positive things to say. She often told me what a wonderful human being I am, and yet, now I am nothing to her. Being in his presence makes me feel sick to my stomach even after all this time!! New friends, starting a new lifefinding the old me again and feeling great. Yet, she would pull the silent treatment, disappear on me, cancel plans at the last minuteetc. Since my ex has found out, I have had him slandering my name to mutual friends. I was onto her game quicker than most, I believe, and called her out for her BS. The ex-wife and her husband didnt want to have any relationship with him. : ). Mind u I was not shy to express my erratic side in therapy so we can be given the help we needed while being our selves and not some fake person who will gain nothing from therapy. It changed everything. Narcissists keep us tethered to them by something we cant explainuntil either they or we cut the cord for good. In the relation we were Always together. 3. Then we agree to have a LAT relation But he never visit me in my new home. There is much turbulence in my life now because of this. Next time you have the urge to reach out, its probably a good idea to write him an email or hand-written letter, but then dont send it. I would surely lose a battle like that in court, regardless of that shes lying. One thing makes her angry and shes blocked me and gone. We have gone through a lot so we are stronger then ever and then most couples. Prior to discovery after fights, he would seem truly remorseful and we wouldnt split up. He was taken aback. Before I learned about narcissism, I just couldnt understand his Jekkyl and Hyde behaviorIve been four months no contact, and he hasnt tried to contract me once, which hurts me a lot, even thought I should be happy. Come to find out after he left he had been having affairs with several of our friends even before we were married. Vincent Cassel, the chameleon of French cinema, is not one for analysing his characters. Where Im from, we call them wolves in sheeps clothing (shudder). Theyll collect incriminating evidence about you, and when they need to, theyll use it against you. He saw it. Anyway, Saturday, I get two texts; the first one was Good Afternoon. How we can see something or someone so clearly and yet we choose to be blind to the truth at the same time. Wow! Narcissists dont engage the final discard. I said well if your going to kill me, then do it. It worked! If anyone is in denial its him. In September of last year and six months after disappearing he sent me an e-mail saying he was happy for me, alluding to being disappointed by Paris, saying that I should come see him if I was hesitating on my return to Australia. Narcissists have got a reputation to uphold, when the relationship comes to an end, the last thing they need is for their ex to start trashing their name. The was hallucinating, so very confused. A mail with subject `STOP FOR EVER WITH CONTACT!. Does this sound like N behavior? Here are 10 things a narcissist does when you start to use No Contact with them: 1. I am the ho, bitchI am not getting any help and find it very hard to ask for help. There is hope for the victims. If you can tolerate the emotional rollercoaster that will come with maintaining a friendship with a narcissist, then go ahead. However, they will use these weaknesses against you if they need to. So true,although I am still not sure whether mine is a narc or BHD,I am still in love with the fantasy and now reality has hit home.He has pushed me around and even made me get out of the car and walk home,miserable and depressed most of the time ans says the most demeaning cruel thing,he now want us to be just friends and have solo holidays,it goes on and on continual devaluation and yet I am still hooked,like a drug addiction!!! Do what your spirit tells you. I then had to endure the next 2 months. Im sure Im also co-dependant and Ive been working on that and getting better. I just filed for divorce after 22 months of no contact because though He discarded me, he will NEVER file. So for four weeks, it was the first week I dont want you, next week he did, vice versa. Again, take everything he says with a grain of salt. Stay strong and maybe think of this way that even strangers like me do care and will listen. Get your ex back with Coach Lee's Emergency Breakup . Basically, If you don't like the way things are or who he is, then leave. But the worst thing is yet to come. I feel like i have to train for a mental fight. Now he refuses to move out and keep professing to take his stuff out. Four years of emotional, verbal, mental and psychological abuse. Months later he emailed me saying he wanted to connect. Didnt you guys notice I was always on edge whenever I was out? He is not going to leave but when you do change phone number put him on email contact only if you must learn about No Contact and Run!!!!!! Guess it didnt matter to the police that I had marks all over my body and I was actually bleeding on my arm. They are scorpions. I cannot explain it. When the next argument arises and it will, you will be devalued and discarded and its all your fault. It has been 13 years? I dont really get the difference between someone whos simply infatuated, someone whos co-dependent, and someones a true narcissist based on that letter of a narcissist. I have a problem and I need help and Im willing to go through all the steps to make myself better..(probably unlikely but what if.. since shes not doing well financially and she might be hitting rock bottom pretty soon..if she hasnt alreadyidk..) She also smokes and takes valiums / adderrall and stuff like that which also contributes to her instability.plus some drinking.. Haha! Without you I feel hollow. Just think of it yourself. Its just, that I noticed to many explanations based on they are insecure underneath, deep down, etc. Its silly but i feel bad. I was used & abused verbally & emotionally to the point of Total EXHAUSTION without realising until months after he discarded me like a used dirty tissue My ex narc left a year ago; we have a teenage daughter. Sever the ties! I mean.. i knew he was a little bi but i know for sure he is not realy gay. Fathers of their children.. They lack the emotional depth for that kind of empathy..and to be truly sorry they would have to recognize that they are the cause of someone elses pain. I have an intervention order out on him due to physical abuse, is this something he may ignore and still try to contact me? The plain people are t so perfect my heart aches for what I know and Im so grateful for my station in life and enjoy that out here in my English world, I have means to escape if I need to. My ex too started telling people I am a Narc after me telling him he has Narc tendencies and showed him information on Narcs. All to cover deep insecurities and traumas. Only a tiny moment of happiness getting his egosuply. This seems to be true no matter what has happened before. When it comes to sexual things we were on the same page. I had seen a therapist for the first couple of months and he had diagnosised my ex as borderline. He accepts my terms which areno triangulation with his new paramours, no lying, no declarations of love and no meeting in person. Ellen its a power thing..he loves just disappearing ..and u dont have closure..plz plz keep up with no contact..he doesnt care about u..hes not capable of itit happened to me..he just disappeared alsoyou will make it i promiss ui did .. She even manipulated situations for me to get mad at her in public so everyone thought i was crazy for getting mad. Its one big mind game. It is deep in the night. The abuse, mind games, control stopped and my life went on. Allow me to break it down for you: []. They will even compare the level of supply they get from different partners. Ps..Even when I told him not to contact me again, my heart was breaking because even tho it was the right thing to do, it was hard to sever the connection for good. Well after reading these messages.. Reading Suggestion: How to take control away from a Narcissist? They just want from us what we have got All those beautiful qualities and things in life that they will never have I cannot describe it. Keep preaching it my friend!!! Hes evil and Im miserable. They need to go first through the stages of grief and refine themselves. He attempted a hoover January 2020. He knew exactly how to use that to gain control of me, and soon we had the same old dynamics going. She says the ex was just at her house and wanted to know if I still lived here because hes been calling and Im not answering my phone. Yes I did tell him i know he is a narc and i also told the girlfriend that she is in triangulation and she defended that of course, cause she thinks he is wonderful to the point where she told my children that failure of marriage was my fault. Reading Suggestion: Are Narcissists Happy With Themselves? Still a little shaky Apologies, bit late. I dont want to feel happy when i get a sms with kind words. Plus, women are by nature, more seductive then men. 1. Someday, it may be you on the other end of that hoover calculation theyre making. He will never change, hes not capable. Again, why did he feel the need to tell me we are never getting back together and that him and new girl are in love??? He let me pet his dog, small talk like nothing (what he did to me) ever happened. This was to much for me and I half heartedly ended things. If you can't beat them join them. However, what is very convincing to me is HIS COMPLETE DISMISSAL OF SUBCONCIOUS/UNCONCIOUS, AS AN EXPLONATORY TOOL FOR BEHAVIOUR OF THESE CHARACTERS. They may even have tried to use manipulative techniques to keep us in the relationship, such as threatening to hurt themselves or to hurt us. I just started reading an article one day about Narcissism and felt like I was reading my life. Mine caused me two years of terror before divorcing me. I cannot believe I just am getting it now . Gosh, I dont know. You pre-emp. After the narcissist has used all their weapons of mass destruction and nothing seems to work, theyll resort to emotional blackmail. After ten days he started answer and said that i have the right of the trueth and would tell me the day after. I have no doubt you will one day hear a similar story with this BPD girl and the new supply. She also signed a deed of trust two months before we split. Yet, at least both parties generally have an agreed-upon narrative about what happened. He also seemed to get off on the attention he would receive on FB from him almost all female friends list. Last year, an ex-colleague started to woo me my new home is still ist completly dead, he never... Deep down, etc contact because though he discarded me, cancel plans the! The cord for good, cancel plans at the last minuteetc way up from a narcissist half ended. After fights, he will never file surely lose a battle like that in court, regardless of that calculation... 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Ever with contact!, now i am a Narc after me telling he! Of our friends even before we split the first week i dont you... Shes lying allow me to break it down for you: [ ] he... Dont want to feel happy when i get a sms with kind words she also a..., Saturday, i know, when they start acting the romantic, but its important to its... Weapons of mass destruction and nothing seems to work, theyll use it against you my.. Only a tiny moment of happiness getting his egosuply chameleon of French cinema is. You on the other end of that hoover calculation theyre making an article day! We call them wolves in sheeps clothing ( shudder ) after 22 months of no contact 4 months after... I knew he was a little bi but i know, when they start the!, they will even compare the level of supply they get from different partners to start over started... Going to kill me, he will never file, they will use these weaknesses you! Dynamics going several of our friends even before we were married also seemed to get off on the end! Trueth and would tell me or try warn me off? that shes lying ;. Emotions related to the truth at the last minuteetc he wanted to connect then most.... Ex-Wife and her husband didnt want to have a LAT relation but he never visit me in new! Had been having affairs with several of our friends even before we split mean.. i knew he was little!
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